It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.
These are words that cause a deep level of dread in a lot of people, because they seem to suggest that there is no amount of intelligence or hard work that can give you a boost in your career. For decades, the trajectory of a person’s work life did seem to be at least partly determined by that looming and nebulous concept, networking, a word filled with the weight of ingratiating oneself to people who otherwise we wouldn’t be interested in at all, just for the sake of knowing the right person.
It’s time to reframe the idea of networking. It’s time to reframe the idea of what who you know can do for you at work. In the dawning age of remote work, how does networking work for us?
Traditional networking is associated with happy hours at local bars, team building activities, trivia nights, and of course company holiday parties. But as events become more virtual and as a lot of organisations move away from alcohol-centric gatherings, the nature of building connections at work is evolving.
According to Jennifer Gniadecki of Non-Toxic Networking: From Poisonous to Popular, a huge key in virtual networking is simply having good manners. The crux of positive networking is truly based in building genuine connections with those you interact with. It means being personal rather than ingratiating, and building relationships for the sake of building relationships, rather than because knowing that person might get you somewhere.
There are several good reasons to build personal relationships with your workmates. First, it makes work more fun–even in a remote environment, having something to talk about while waiting for the Zoom call to officially start will make those Zoom calls less onerous to attend. As a leader, being personable to your teammates will make it easier for them to come to you with questions, and a friendly working relationship makes collaboration easier and more effective. It provides better opportunities for mentoring and being mentored, which helps everyone advance their careers. It also helps morale and increases employee retention. It’s just all around good for everyone.
So what are the key things to remember when building those connections? We’ll break it down, but it’s really pretty simple: worry less about furthering your career and more about enhancing the humanity of your workspace.
Remember that other people are human beings. This can be difficult in a time where most of our communication happens through email and chat applications like Slack or Teams. But it’s important to take a moment to remind yourself that every computer you send an email to and every phone you leave a message on has a person connected to it on the other end–a person who has feelings and reactions to wording (or lack thereof) just like we do. So when you are writing a message or making a phone call, remember to pause, be polite and give people the benefit of the doubt.
Be honest. Whether you are participating in organised gatherings or simply getting to know the people you work with, be truthful and genuine (but also tactful! See No. 1.). The truth is, networking won’t take you very far if you aren’t genuinely interested in interacting with the people you are getting to know.
Keep healthy boundaries. This might seem to contradict the advice to get to know people and build connections. But any relationship needs boundaries in which people feel safe and supported. Be real with your capacity and what you’re able to take on. If you’re in a management position, tread carefully with personal information. Remember that you want to be personable, but not overly personal.
To recap: be human. It can be tempting to focus solely on upward mobility in a work culture that seems to prioritise ambition. But if you take the time and give yourself the space to truly focus on relationships rather than that idea of networking, you will reap rewards in this position and in whatever workplace comes next for you.